Howard Gray
A story that touched my heart. One of those things that you listen to in the shower and wow. Something that’s happened to all of us and shouldn’t.
I’m always amazed how a song tell a story in a few sentences. I’ve mentioned before John Schmidt from Berlin, Ohio. He could have been one of the most popular singers but gave this up for a prison ministry. I’m listening to a concert and this song comes up. John enunciate so well that it’s not hard to pick up the lyrics:
“Most everyone I knew put the whole
“Gray family down
“They were the poorest family in our little Kansas town
“Howard sat across from me in 7th grade in school
“I didn’t like it much but Mama taught the Golden rule
“You see Howard was the type that is easy to pick on. He was different. If you kind of liked him a bit, and I didn’t tease him which made him think I was his friend.
“So when the spitballs flew at him I never did join in. I would look and see the grateful eyes of Howard Gray looking back at me.”
But things were about to get rocky.
One day I did something that I will regret the rest of my life.
“One day after lunch I went to comb my hair and saw they had Howard pinned against the lockers in the hall and they had his left arm pinned behind him until it hurt.”
“Somehow I can’t explain how I ended up laughing with the rest. Till this day I can still see the eyes of Howard Gray looking back at me. I wanted to apologize but I was too afraid to be a friend to you Howard Gray.”
“He never smiled at me nor looked my way again. Not much longer after that his family moved away and that’s all I ever heard of Howard Gray.
That was 20 years ago and I still haven’t found why we kick our brother or our sister when they’re down. I only hope you’ll hear this song someday and know that we are sorry Howard Gray”
A lifetime of regret. My three youngest grandkids are super athletes and straight A students. I’ve told them from day one, find someone that is not part of the ‘in’ crowd and eat lunch with them, or just be their friend. I don’t know if this has helped but they always have a couple of friends with them.
But that is not the end of the story. This song was written and sung by Lee Dolman from Nashville, TN, who is a friend of Johnny’s. Johnny asked him if he ever saw Howard Gray again.
Lee said, “As a matter of fact I did.” Last year my dad passed away and as they lowered the casket I looked up and saw a face with a tear in his eye. I walked right up to him, stood beside him and put my arm around him. “Will you forgive me?”
“Yuh.” 20 years of guilt lifted.
Howard never returned to school after the 7th grade and had only low paying jobs. He heard the song on the radio and now he was getting fan mail. A few years later, Johnny stopped by. “I’ve been singing your song.” Johnny told him that every time he sings his song he will send him $25. After that Common Ground Ministry sent him $100 a month until his death. Sometimes all you have to do to help someone on his way is to be kind.
PS: I Love sunflowers
—James Neuhouser
