Politics and politicians
By: Stan Jordan
Ben Franklin told me one time, “There will always be death and taxes, but politics and politicians are about as everlasting.”
Ben was in the printing business, where he met a lot of guys running for office.
Most major politicians are not very truthful but they didn’t start out that way. They make promises of what they will do for you, if you elect him into office, knowing pretty well that he can’t keep his word, but that doesn’t seem to matter.
As soon as he is in office, he starts politicking for the next elections, the promises he made has long been forgotten.
One politicians made his speech and said, “I will hire your kids when I get to Washington.” One old timer standing there said, “Will you hire my son?” “Yes sir, I will. What can your son do?” “Nothing”, was the answer. The politician replied, “Fine, I won’t have to break him in.”
I understand in Canada they are only allowed six weeks for campaigning for office. That is a first class rule, we need that rule in the United States.
Oh what a break for the American public that would be, but the television stations would go broke.
When you are a politician running for office, your opponent will plow up your back ground. If you have any skeletons in your closet, they will find them and publish them.
The so–called debate among the candidates is a pharse, a rumble, a rhubarb, a quarrel, a distraction, a joke, hysteria, outlandish, mindless, a side show, meaningless, absurd, charade, a travesty. It has become a one man show, and he wants the television people to pay him because people tune in to watch him make a fool of himself. He talks the whole 60 minutes, while the others wait for their turn
If a sleazy politician gets elected, nearly half the people still hate him. He goes to Washington and immediately forgets all of his promises to his own area, but he can’t fulfill his promises anyhow unless his party agrees with it.
“There is many a slip between the cup and the lip.”
Politicians have broken promises since time immemorial, when Mark Anthony said, “I came to bury Caesar, not to praise him.” He stated, “Caesar, thrice on the Rubicon, said he would help them people and he never did.”
And God promised the men, that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the earth. Then He made world round and laughed and laughed and laughed.
See Ya!
Cabin Number 21 At Valley Forge
By: Stan Jordan
The winter of 1778 was miserable for both the English and American soldiers.
The war slowed down to about a draw. The English stayed up to the north and the Americans were sent down to Valley Forge sort of a disbanded army camp on the out skirts of Philadelphia, backed up against a woods full of game and close to a little settlement.
The camp was disbanded a few months ago and was empty now. George Washington had to find winter quarters for his troops. They had no boots or winter clothes and had not been paid for about five months, moral was very low and things couldn’t be worse. The boys had been told that the post bakery had to be remodeled and the fires lit and it would be a few day before they were furnished with fresh bread and to fend for themselves.
This is a semi-true story about cabin 21.
Sgt. Baker was a good leader, he had been in the army since it had been formed about ten years ago. He could always see the good side of everything. The cabin was an empty building with no cots or bed clothes. He told the boys, “We are very lucky, this is one of the new buildings. It has a door at each end, a fire place at each end, it has a good roof, good foundation, and we are close to the forrest full of wild game and right on the edge of a settlement. If you want to be in this squad you will have to work and do your share or we are in trouble. The woods is full of wild game and we will have plenty of fresh meat, but not much else until the bakery gets going. There is plenty of good, dry wood to burn and we should be warm in the cabin. I know some of you don’t have boots or even warm winter clothes so, we will have to work around that. We will have to do the best we can with what we got. You boys with good clothes, I want you to go down to the settlement and ask for any bed clothes and things we can borrow until spring, when we will be called up again. We will work for anything that they lend us.”
That worked out pretty good. We got 3 bear–skinned rugs, quite a few comforters and blankets, some candles, cooking utensils and a lot of sassafras tea roots, quite a bit of salt and 3 deer hide that could be cut and used.
“Now you fellows without good boots, take some deer hide and make a pair of boots with leggings, wrap your feet with that rag carpeting and string that deer skin around your feet and half way up your legs and tie them with long strips of deer skin, called whang leather, and then you will be able to cut and haul firewood and hunt and bring meat for the table.”
We have to cut a lot of wood first.
See ya!
The Lobo Tank Busters
By: Stan Jordan
This morning we left on dawn patrol and headed east into Germany. We didn’t see any railroad traffic so we just flew on over to the Mainz area where the big bombers hit the underground area yesterday.
Well, those bomber must have done some good, because the area was crawling with big equipment like cranes, drag lines, bulldozers and caterpillars.
We made a tight circle and came back over the area and I put one of my rockets into a big crane and pieces flew all over. By then I was past the place and turned around and came back.
I saw a big piece of earth moving equipment and hit it with another rocket and I was past the place again. We made another circle over the area but there wasn’t many targets left to shoot at.
There were big craters all over where the big bombers did their job. We made another big circle and used up our other rockets.
We made a wise decision and went up to about 6000 feet and headed back to our airbase. I guess the Germans had enough time to scramble and come after us because I could see six ME109’s coming toward us.
I took on the one on the far right side and the fight was on. I took a couple quick snap shots with my 50’s and he threw a few at me.
I made a grab rule and went upstairs and he must have lost sight of me ‘cause I straightened out and came right on his tail and poured round after round into his . He side slipped a little, like I figured he would, and he flew right into my line of traces. His plane flew off to the right and was falling to earth. I followed him all the way down and watched him crash.
By now I had time to look around, but I didn’t see anything. No German planes or any of ours either.
I called on the radio and said I was going over to the course to take me back to our air base. After a little bit each one answered and said they were alright and would head back toward home. We all got back to east of Anthony and landed one at a time.
After supper we discussed the actions and I guess we had two kills and two probables. The other German planes just left the area. After all, we had a good day.
See Ya!
Off the wall
Escalators don’t break down… they just turn into stairs.
“I’m sorry” and “I apologize” mean the same thing… except when you’re at a funeral.
I intend to live forever… or die trying.
We never knew he was a drunk… until he showed up to work sober.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
A blind man walks into a bar… and a table, and a chair.
At what age is it appropriate to tell my dog that he’s adopted?
Want to hear a pizza joke… nah, it’s too cheesy. What about a construction joke? Oh, never mind, I’m still working on that one. Did you hear the one about the rope? Skip it. Have you heard the one about the guy in the wheelchair? Never mind, it’s too lame.
I used to be in a band, we were called ‘lost dog’. you probably saw our posters.
I childproofed the house… they still get in!
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a million times, don’t exaggerate!
How did the blonde die while drinking milk? The cow sat down.
“Good News”
The patient says to the doctor, “Doc, I gotta know my test results!”
The Doc replies, “Well, you want the bad news or the good news?”
“Good news, Doc. Gimme the good news!”
“Well,” says the Doc, “I hear cremations are on sale this week.”
“Greeting Card”
For the occasion of her new shop grand opening, a salon owner ordered a beautiful, expensive floral arrangement.
When it arrived, she was miffed that the large announcement card read, “May You Rest In Peace.”
She called the flower shop and complained to the owner, who moaned, “Uh, oh. Now there’s a fancy bouquet at the funeral home with a big sign that says, “Best of luck in your new location!”
