{"id":51042,"date":"2026-05-10T12:15:00","date_gmt":"2026-05-10T16:15:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.westbendnews.net\/autonews\/?p=51042"},"modified":"2026-05-06T13:52:11","modified_gmt":"2026-05-06T17:52:11","slug":"candles-are-good-for-you","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.westbendnews.net\/autonews\/candles-are-good-for-you\/","title":{"rendered":"\u201cCandles Are Good for You\u201d"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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Dotting my Teas By: Marlene Oxender<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When it comes to birthdays, my mother was someone who saw the value in celebrating them. She wanted a cake in front of her birthday person. Her kitchen cupboards were well stocked with cake mixes and birthday candles. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we\u2019re a child, a birthday celebration is fun. We sit still and listen to the birthday song while all eyes are on us. When they\u2019re finished singing, we lean forward and blow out the candles in one big breath.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

But then we grow up and things change. We tend to make it through the singing of those four sentences with a smile on our face; it always helps when children are around. We may feel a few moments of awkwardness, but it\u2019s likely the only time in our life when we\u2019ll hear our name in music.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

If only the rest of life were set to music. If only we\u2019d hear well-wishes sung into the air an additional 364 times per year. What words would they choose to sing to us? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Instead of an alarm clock, it\u2019d be great if someone sang a few words about it being time to wake up. Like they do in a musical, it\u2019d be more pleasant to hear about the beautiful morning we\u2019re about to experience. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

My mother used to wake us up in the morning by opening the stairway door, standing at the bottom of the staircase, and yelling the words: \u201cIt\u2019s time to get up.\u201d She did a lot of things right in her life, but this was not one of them. After she hollered that it was time to get up, she\u2019d pick one or more of her children\u2019s names and holler again, letting us know it was time to crawl out of bed. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

My younger brother Stevie, who had Down syndrome, was happy most of the time. When he stayed overnight at our house, he was often the first one up and about in the morning. When he was ready for the rest of the family to get out of bed, he tried using logic on us. He\u2019d remind us that if we didn\u2019t get out of bed, we didn\u2019t get to go to work. His words became an inside joke.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Each year when spring rolled around, he was glad to flip the page of his wall calendar. Like most of us, he looked forward to mild weather and the chance to be on his bicycle once again. Springtime meant he\u2019d be able to tell others his birthday was \u201ccoming up.\u201d    <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The first day of April also meant there would be intentional misrepresentation of the truth. Stevie and his friends were already good at pointing out the nonsensical things in this world. They were skilled pranksters who knew how to make someone think they\u2019ve got one more problem to deal with \u2013 a problem that\u2019ll go away as soon as someone says, \u201cApril Fool\u2019s.\u201d If only our problems could disappear so easily the other 364 days of the year.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you\u2019ve visited Stevie\u2019s Facebook page, you\u2019ve likely seen at least one video where he was being teased about skipping his birthday party this year. He knew it was a joke yet gladly joined in the debate about how we\u2019d be spending his birthday. There was laughter as he stuck to the seriousness of the topic.             <\/p>\n\n\n\n

He also let me know there\u2019d be cake and ice cream. He argued that candles are good for you. He knew there\u2019d be a mailbox full of birthday cards and people showing up with gifts in hand.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most of us would agree we learned a few things from Stevie \u2013 like how good it feels to live in the moment. To just hang out. To not take things so seriously. To remind others that candles are good for you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And now that Stevie is no longer physically here on earth, he\u2019s let me know there\u2019s such a thing as an angelic prankster. He lets me know he\u2019s still with me. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

He\u2019d celebrated 54 birthdays on earth, so we know there were at least 54 times he\u2019d sat with a cake in front of him. There was no question about how he\u2019d be celebrating his big day. There\u2019d be cake and ice cream. There\u2019d be a song to sing and candles to light. There\u2019d be applause.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Life gives us plenty of gifts. But choosing to have fun \u2013 that\u2019s our gift back to the world. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Marlene Oxender is a writer, speaker, and author. She writes about growing up in the small town of Edgerton, her ten siblings, the memorabilia in her parents\u2019 estate, and her late younger brother, Stevie Kimpel, who was born with Down syndrome. Her three published books, <\/em>Picket Fences, <\/em>Stevie and <\/em>Grandma, You Already Am Old, are available on Amazon. Marlene can be reached at mpoxender@gmail.com<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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