{"id":43031,"date":"2024-02-11T08:01:37","date_gmt":"2024-02-11T13:01:37","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.westbendnews.net\/autonews\/?p=43031"},"modified":"2024-02-06T08:04:15","modified_gmt":"2024-02-06T13:04:15","slug":"matts-mishaps-91","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.westbendnews.net\/autonews\/matts-mishaps-91\/","title":{"rendered":"MATT\u2019S MISHAPS"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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\u201cServing overseas as a small-town boy in America has been intense, stressful and humorous! Enjoy a light-hearted story with me from our last 20 years overseas!\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2014Matt <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mis-scheduled Milestone<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

On turning fifty years of age, AARP sent me information to join their ranks of old folks. I am now half a century old and considered an antique by automobile standards. I would be a youngster if I was a giant tortoise that can live two-hundred years. I already move as slow as one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

On returning from a work trip days before turning fifty, my wife with a smile on her face, informed me that she had scheduled a colonoscopy for me without consulting me. I didn\u2019t put up a fight that I couldn\u2019t win. I began the protocol of eating bland foods the few days before the medical procedure at our overseas hospital.  It was followed by a day of liquid diet, which meant that it was a day near the toilet. When nearing the last leg before the procedure, I downed fizzy medicine and drank the required three liters of fluid. I heard gurgles and squeals coming from my body that disturbed me.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

My wife was required to accompany me to the hospital on the fateful day in my gurgling state and to make sure I got home safely afterwards. I brought a pile of cash with me because the hospital required full payment before the procedure, and their credit card machine regularly malfunctioned. I did not want to get to the hospital after these last eventful dietary days to be turned away as I couldn\u2019t make payment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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The post-procedure room was filled with beds separated by curtains. I thought I was hearing a man snoring loudly from the anesthesia in one of the \u201ccurtain cubicles.\u201d The nurse informed us that the burbling sound was not post-procedure snoring.\n<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

After giving my name at the front desk, I was told by the receptionist that I was not scheduled for that day, but a month later. Using emotion and gasps, with some words too, I made it clear that I was not going to leave until the procedure was completed or I might violate the eleventh commandment (Thou shalt not whimper and make a seen in a hospital lobby). The receptionist restated that I was not scheduled for that day and that I must have misheard the scheduling operator who was wearing a mask. I could distinguish between February and March through a mask, and the discussion went on. Eventually the receptionist said she would call a supervisor. \u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fifteen minutes later I was relieved to be approached by a nurse who said she would accompany me to the area for the procedure.  I put my items in a locker, put on the robe, laid on a stretcher like bed, they put the IV in my arm, and the doctor began asking me questions.  The last thing I remember was saying that I was from Indiana and missed eating corn on the cob, and the next thing I know I was waking up in a space enclosed by curtains.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A month later I was walking with my wife to the hospital for her first colonoscopy.  She takes the warnings on the pre-procedure legal sheet too seriously and said to me without a smile on her face now, \u201cI could have major complications from this.\u201d  I replied to her, \u201cNot so much drama, you could have greater complications from not doing it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Something similar ever happen to you?   Contact me and let me hear your story!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

mattsmishaps@gmail.com    Matt\u2019s Mishaps, PO BOX 114, Grabill, IN  46741<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cServing overseas as a small-town boy in America has been intense, stressful and humorous! Enjoy a light-hearted story with me<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":43032,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"colormag_page_container_layout":"default_layout","colormag_page_sidebar_layout":"default_layout","nf_dc_page":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[8,25,13165],"tags":[13025,21237],"class_list":["post-43031","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-churches","category-columns","category-matts-mishaps","tag-matts-mishaps","tag-mis-scheduled-milestone"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t