{"id":31495,"date":"2021-01-09T07:30:00","date_gmt":"2021-01-09T12:30:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.westbendnews.net\/autonews\/?p=31495"},"modified":"2021-01-05T18:46:54","modified_gmt":"2021-01-05T23:46:54","slug":"just-some-jokes","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.westbendnews.net\/autonews\/just-some-jokes\/","title":{"rendered":"Just Some Jokes"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\"><figure class=\"alignright size-large\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"317\" height=\"395\" loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.westbendnews.net\/autonews\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/12\/Stan-Jordan.jpg?resize=317%2C395&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-216\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.westbendnews.net\/autonews\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/12\/Stan-Jordan.jpg?w=317&amp;ssl=1 317w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.westbendnews.net\/autonews\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/12\/Stan-Jordan.jpg?resize=240%2C300&amp;ssl=1 240w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 317px) 100vw, 317px\" \/><figcaption> <\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>By: Stan Jordan&nbsp;<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>Previously ran 1\/25\/12<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>She was so blonde that she thought a quarterback was a cash refund.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>She was so blonde she tripped over the cordless phone.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>She was so blonde she took a ruler to bed with her so she could see how long she slept.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Blondie sat and stared at the orange juice box for 25 minutes because it said concentrate.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>She was so blonde she got stabbed in a shoot out.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>She was so blonde she thought Taco Bell was a Mexican phone company.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>She was so blonde she thought Meow Mix was a re- cord for cats.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>She was so blonde she thought Ertha Kitt was a gar- den tool.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>See ya!&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>By: Stan Jordan&nbsp;<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>Previously ran 2\/22\/12<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Tom\u2019s wife was a dizzy blonde. She was going to make Tom an angel food cake. The recipe said to beat the 12 eggs separately. A neighbor was kind enough to loan her some extra bowls.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Tom wanted a fruit salad for dinner. The recipe said to serve without dressing. So Blondie didn\u2019t dress. Boy, was she surprised when Tom brought a friend home for dinner.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Blondie was going to have rice for dinner. It said to wash thoroughly before steaming the rice. She said it sounded silly but she took a bath any- way. It didn\u2019t seem to improve the rice at all.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Blondie found an easy recipe for cookies. It said to put all the ingredients in a bowl and heat it. She said something must be wrong here because when she got back things were just like when she left.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Blondie is going to surprise Tom. If he will buy a bigger oven she will surprise him with a Chocolate Moose.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>See ya!&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>By: Stan Jordan<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>Previously ran 3\/21\/12<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The door bell rang and Blondie answered it. A work- man complete with a tool box stood on the front porch.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>He said, \u201cMadam, I am the piano tuner.\u201d&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The blonde said, \u201cI didn\u2019t call for a piano tuner.\u201d&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The man replied, \u201cI know you didn\u2019t, but your neighbors did.\u201d&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Blondie was driving south bound on Interstate 69. Her cell phone rang and it was her roommate warning her that she heard on the radio that a person was traveling going the wrong way on the high- way. \u201cSo please be careful.\u201d&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Blondie replied, \u201cIt\u2019s not one car, there\u2019s hundreds of them.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>See ya!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>By: Stan Jordan&nbsp; Previously ran 1\/25\/12 She was so blonde that she thought a quarterback was a cash refund.&nbsp; ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":216,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"colormag_page_container_layout":"default_layout","colormag_page_sidebar_layout":"default_layout","nf_dc_page":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[25,26],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-31495","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-columns","category-sjordan"],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.westbendnews.net\/autonews\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/12\/Stan-Jordan.jpg?fit=317%2C395&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p2YQd9-8bZ","jetpack-related-posts":[],"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"publishpress_future_action":{"enabled":false,"date":"2026-04-16 09:21:06","action":"change-status","newStatus":"draft","terms":[],"taxonomy":"category","extraData":[]},"publishpress_future_workflow_manual_trigger":{"enabledWorkflows":[]},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.westbendnews.net\/autonews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/31495","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.westbendnews.net\/autonews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.westbendnews.net\/autonews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.westbendnews.net\/autonews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.westbendnews.net\/autonews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=31495"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.westbendnews.net\/autonews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/31495\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.westbendnews.net\/autonews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/216"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.westbendnews.net\/autonews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=31495"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.westbendnews.net\/autonews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=31495"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.westbendnews.net\/autonews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=31495"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}