New Column: Matt’s Mishaps – Peanuts and Parenting

MATT’S MISHAPS

“Serving overseas as a small-town boy from America is intense, stressful and humorous! Enjoy a light-hearted story with me from our last 20 years overseas!” – Matt 

Parenting books didn’t help me with all that I would confront overseas!  Despite reading dozens of parenting books and attending workshops on the subject while in the States, I discovered that much is learned in the field, not in the laboratory of parenting.  Having grown up in small-town America also didn’t always get me ahead when trying to parent overseas. 

Part of the challenge of living abroad is the paperwork of parenting. For example, we needed to renew our first son’s passport at age four and it meant a one hour high speed ferry ride to the closest USA consulate. It was an early bustling morning to get to the port to catch the boat and get to those scheduled appointments. Within a short time of the boat leaving, our son said his stomach hurt. I realized that we had only had time for a rushed breakfast and I knew he must surely be hungry.

Growing up in a family where peanuts (shelled, roasted, salted, Spanish, etc.) were considered a special food group, I always had peanuts with me while traveling and that morning on the boat was no exception. I began to hand the peanuts (salted and roasted) to our son and he happily began to eat away. After a while, I noticed his stomachache was not going away, so I assumed he was still hungry and kept feeding him more peanuts. About half an hour into the trip, his stomach began to really gurgle and I realized it might not be hunger, but seasickness all this time.

Our son all of a sudden clung to me with intense super-human strength. I couldn’t get him off me. He let loose and threw up all over the front of me and himself. Let me say that half-digested, roasted, salted peanuts might be the nastiest smelling gooey, slimy sub- stance in the world. My son had a change of clothes for the long hot day of appointments in government offices – I didn’t. I took my shirt off in the men’s bathroom and tried to scrub the smelly slime off my shirt and pants with little effect. I was now slimy, smelly and wet. Due to our tight schedule, we had no time to buy new clothes for me, but made our scheduled appointments. After a long humiliating day of appointments, we got back on the boat for the return trip home, but no peanuts were eaten on that journey.

I still love a snack (well, a meal) of roasted-salted peanuts, popcorn, and Granny Smith apples, but have learned to not mix peanuts and boat journeys!

Something similar ever happen to you? Contact me and let me hear your story! mattsmishaps@gmail.com; Matt’s Mishaps, P.O. Box 114, Grabill, IN 46741.