Dotting my Teas

By: Marlene Oxender

A few weeks ago, I stumbled upon a poem I’d written but never shared. It sat in the archives of my computer. Good to go. No reason to change it. But there I was, looking at it once again and wondering what to do with it. 

In my attempt to change a few words, I saw a new poem taking off on its own. A poem with no direction. A poem with no title. 

Since I’d been thinking about my younger brother Stevie, who had Down syndrome, I continued writing the poem with him in mind. He seemed so perfect while he walked this earth. And now I know he’s doing quality work as an angel – for I am overwhelmed.  

As I was writing about being overwhelmed, a song by Phil Collins, “You’ll Be in My Heart,” came on the radio. I stopped typing, listened to the words in the song, and became overwhelmed once again. I think Stevie is paying me back for all the teasing he endured while we were together.     

It’s been a year since he passed away, and I’ve been amazed at the fun “little angel” moments that I know were custom-made for me. 

Nudges from Above 

I can’t see you 

yet my spirit knows you’re here.

I can’t touch you

but I feel you in the room.

I can’t look into your eyes 

but I know you’re looking into mine

and watching over me.

I can’t hold you – 

yet here you are beside me

sending your love in ways
so new to me 

reminding me of sweet stories

and times we were together.

I didn’t get to spend

 the rest of my life with you

but you spent the rest of yours with me

and oh, there’s beauty in knowing that. 

Someday we’ll meet again

and pick up where we left off.

You’ll teach me how to do
my angel work

as well as you’ve done yours. 

There’s nothing better
than knowing

we’ll be together someday

as angels on assignment.  

Serendipitous moments we’ll custom-make for them. 

And problems – we’ll send help in ways 

only they will recognize. 

We’ll wipe their tears

and make burdens disappear.

They’ll feel nudges from above 

and kisses in the wind. 

They’ll see our face in everything

and wonder what’s going on. 

They’ll feel divinely guided              

   by wisdom and by grace.

The time will come when 

their days on earth are done.

We’ll take them under our wings

and show them how to do their angel work

as well as we’ve done ours.  

And oh, the happiness they’ll

discover while working

undercover

as angels in disguise.  

Marlene Oxender is a writer, speaker, and author. She writes about growing up in the small town of Edgerton, her ten siblings, the memorabilia in her parents’ estate, and her late younger brother, Stevie Kimpel, who was born with Down syndrome. Her three published books, Picket Fences, Stevie and Grandma, You Already Am Old, are available on Amazon. Marlene can be reached at mpoxender@gmail.com