Stan’s Articles

EAST DAGGETT & SOUTH MAIN

By: Stan Jordan

There are two buildings here and I will tell you what I remember about them.

Dave Zuber had a wooden grocery store there on the left side for years. Then it was made into a brick building and sold to Alex Grant about 1912.

George Bakle had a grocery store there for a while. About the time of WWII, there was a meat locker there and later some other shops and new pizza.

The place where the Tips & Tan was has been a number of things. It was Antwerp’s first automobile garage operated by Warren Seslar, till he built his new one about 1915. The then Tips & Tan moved down on West River Street.

The next building was The Masonic Temple having originated in 1861. It is now the home of The Dance Dolls.

See ya!

POLITICS

By: Stan Jordan

Is every capital in the world in chaos like ours? Our leaders have done nothing but disagree for over 2 years. I’m sure we are the laughing spot of the universe: Power, power, power! My way or no way! “It won’t be your way, we’ll see to that”, she says.

This goes on and on each day is about the same, nothing is done. Lots of people want to get in this game of do nothing. Everyone and his uncle is running for the presidency on the democrat ticket. I don’t think ability has anything to do with your running for office.

What is wrong with me? Here it is a beautiful spring day and I am thinking about the nuts in Washington!

I am just like those people, I’m going to do nothing.

See ya! 

RESPECT

By: Stan Jordan

Respect? What happened to it? Where did respect go? There doesn’t seem to be any anywhere in our great nation. Don’t we teach it anymore? Is the Golden Rule just a line of talk? Everyday you read or see where a person does not respect another. Lots of people don’t respect a policeman and that is a person that should be obeyed and respected. 

This idea of civil rights is now taking the place of courtesy and respect, it seems that people only think of themselves and not their neighbor.

More killings, robbing and stabbings carry on every day and this is supposed to be a great nation; a nation of entitlement.

We must start from the grass roots of this honor and respect if we are going to exist as an honorable country.

It looks like the home is the place to start teaching honor, courtesy and respect.

See ya!

MY TWO FRONT TEETH

By: Stan Jordan

Back in 1943 in the army I had to have a root canal done on one of my front teeth and that was without any local anesthesia, WOW!

Well, that lasted till about 1951 and I had to have an implant then in the front and that lasted for years with no trouble.

Then in 2003 my other front tooth had to be taken out, thank goodness it was just pulled out, with no surgery.

So, I went through the usual part of getting a dental fixture with my two front teeth. Now, that was the longest three weeks that I have waited. You don’t realize what a hole that is in your mouth until everybody looks at you and you mumble a few words. The first partial piece lasted about 16 years without one second of trouble. No adjusting or anything, until I knocked it off the counter top with these stiff fingers. I was almost heart broken to lose those teeth and then to go through the process again and wait three weeks for my new partial.

As near as I know I have to wait 8 more days yet, that is the date the technician gave me.

This is April 11th and I have my new partial plate and it fits fine. That was a long 3 weeks.

See ya! 

** Why did the Easter bunny cross the road? To prove he wasn’t a chicken.

** Why did the chicken cross the road? To get some new scratchin.

** A farmer pulls a prank on Easter Sunday. After the egg hunt, he sneaks into the chicken coop and replaces all the eggs with the brightly colored ones. A little later, the rooster walks in, spots the colored eggs, storms out and beats up the peacock.

** A duck, a skunk, and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night. When it came time to pay, the skunk didn’t have a scent, the deer didn’t have a buck, so they put the meal on the duck’s bill.

** A good ole boy by the name of Cletus walking into a doctor’s office and the receptionist asked him what he had.

Cletus said, “Shingles”

So she wrote down his name, address, medical insurance number and told him to have a seat.

Fifteen minutes later a nurse’s aide came out and asked Cletus what he had.

Cletus said, “Shingles”

 So she wrote down his height, weight, and complete medical history and told Cletus to wait in the examining room.

A half hour later a nurse came in and asked Cletus what he had.

Cletus said, “Shingles”

So the nurse gave Cletus a blood test, blood pressure test and electrocardiogram and told Cletus to take off all his clothes, put on one of those open-in-back hospital gowns, and wait for the doctor.

An hour later the doctor came in and found Cletus sitting patiently and asked Cletus what he had.

Cletus said, “Shingles”

The doctor asked, “Where?”

Cletus said, “Outside on the truck. Where do you want me to unload ‘em?” 

** Three surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients to operate on. The first surgeon said, “Electricians are the best, everything inside is color coded.” The second one says, “No, I think librarians are, everything inside them is in alphabetical order.” The third surgeon shut them up when he said, “You’re both wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There’s no guts, no heart, no brains and no spine. Plus the head and butt are interchangeable…”

** An elderly man thinking his wife was losing her hearing went about 20’ behind her and asked, “Can you hear me sweetheart?” No reply. Moved to 10’ and inquired again. No reply. 5’ and not a word. A few inches behind her ear, he asked, “Can you hear me now honey?” His wife said, “For the fourth time, yes.”

** A blonde called her boyfriend and said, “Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle and I can’t figure it out or how to get it started.”

Her boyfriend asked, “What is it supposed to be when it’s finished?”

The blonde said, “According to the picture on the box, it’s a tiger.”

Her boyfriend decided to go over and help with the puzzle. She let him in and showed him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studied the pieces for a moment, looked at the box, then turned to her and said, “First of all, no matter what we do, we’re not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger.” He took her hand and said, “Second, I want you to relax. Let’s have a nice cup of hot chocolate and then…” he sighed… “Let’s put all these frosted flakes back into the box.”

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