Stan’s Ramblings

Wahoo Is No Longer A Chief

By: Stan Jordan

I get asked once in a while about the Cleveland Indians and also the Reds.

Well the Indians have a good ball club, the pitching is good I would say above average, but now and then the bull pen will let the pitchers down.

I’ve hollered about that all summer, but the Indians, as of today, July 23 are 10 games above 500 percent. Doggone that is still pretty good average.

I got me a new Indians ball cap the other day. It still has the logo of Chief Wahoo on it, but I understand that is not to be used anymore. I don’t see any harm in the use of that, but there probably is.

But getting back to the Indians if they can continue to play as good as they are now, when it comes down to the end of September, then maybe improve a little bit, all they have to do is beat those two teams at the east coast.

We can beat the Yankees and the Red Sox, but we have to continue to play good ball and be aggressive.

Last night was Monday, July 23rd the Indians had an interleague game with the Pittsburg Pirates. For a few minutes the Indians looked like a little league team. Let me tell you how quick things can go bad.

Pittsburg had a man on first and one out. The batter then hit a hot grounder to the second baseman, a chance for an inning ending double play, but he had trouble getting the ball out of his glove so they only had time to get the man going to second base, only one out instead of a double play.

The pitcher got the next man to pop up by the pitcher’s mound and all five of the in fielders crowed around and let the ball drop for an infield hit, this dumb action gave the Pirates five outs, cause the inning would have been over. Well things went bad and before they got the third out the Pirates had 7 runs.

There are three or four real bad things here that shouldn’t be.

See ya!

Mary Jo and I

By: Stan Jordan

This story goes right along with last week’s story on the Koch boys and families from the Warden Road in Scipio Township over in Indiana. I retired from the route back in 1981 and this story was sometime before that.

There was a couple of Koch families living on Warden Road, but this story is about a pretty little blonde girl that would come out to see me every day and I looked forward to seeing her also.

This little girl was Wilber Koch’s daughter named Mary Jo and by now she is a mother and grandmother.

I took a day off and went to Detroit to see a baseball game, so I had my sub to run the route that day. So, when we went to the post office the next morning, my sub was there to tell me of yesterday’s “goings on”. Everything went fine, when I got to Wilbur’s mail box Mrs. Koch came out to see me. She said, “Yesterday Mary Jo put on her new dress and waited by the mail box to show you her new dress, she was so proud of it, and when the mail man came it wasn’t you. She was all excited to show you, but it didn’t work out that way and she was heart broken.”

I felt like a louse to hurt that child, but I didn’t know about her being at the mail box that day. I just didn’t do anything wrong, but it was all wrong for Mary Jo.

Well, Mrs. Koch went back to the house and I went on down the road, but I was sure shook up. I just didn’t know or I would not have gone to the ball game. I could have bawled.

Well, Mary Jo didn’t come out to see me for a couple of days, but then she did wait for me with a little orange dum dum sucker like you get at the bank and soon we were the best of friends again.

It was people like those on Warden Road that made my job the best job in the world.

See ya!

Port – A – Potty

By: Stan Jordan

The stool in your bathroom is named after the inventor of the flush toilet, John C. Crapper, but I don’t think the Port – A – Potty was named after Porter Potts. I think the name is an advertising gimmick.

When you have an outing on the street or park it is a law that you must have places available for people to rest and refresh themselves and that just makes sense that you have enough of those handy little gadgets to get the job done.

The Bathroom Issue

Your guests will forgive poor food, weak beverages, and an out-of-tune band. They won’t care that they parked in a cornfield or couldn’t find a place to sit. What they will never forgive, however, is the lack of facilities.

Food, drinks, entertainment—these are luxuries. Having a facility to use when nature calls? Now, that’s a necessity. Nothing kills an outdoor event faster than an agonizingly long line to use the porta john. Line up your portable restroom rentals first. You can plan a potluck or truck in a cooler, but you won’t be able to supply your own portable toilets.

Before calling to find out portable bathroom availability, ask yourself these questions:

1. How many people are attending the event? The minimum requirement for portable restrooms is one porta john per 100 people for up to four hours. However, that’s a basic estimate. Longer than four hours? More than 100 people? Serving alcohol? You’ll need more porta potties.

2. Will there be a higher percentage of women than men? Take a good, hard look at your guest list. Do you have more women on your list than men? If you do, you’ll need more porta potties than the average event. If you have an extremely high percentage of women (a women’s retreat, for example, or a bridal shower), you’ll need to plan on having for more portable restrooms.

3. Are you serving alcohol at the event? If you answered “yes” to both #3 and #4, then you’ll need to plan on having three portable toilets for every 100 attendees for events after four hours.

4. How long will the event last? Obviously, the longer the event, the more people will have to “go.” After four hours, you’ll need two portable toilets per 100 people.

They were never meant to be restful, just for you to get the job done. The guy who invented the Port – A – Potty is the same refugee from an insane asylum that designed the rest room in a jet air liner, no knowledge at all that some people are not tall and skinny.

If you sit on the stool they slam the door in your face and spread your knees apart till you are flat against the wall and roll of paper is jammed into your mouth.  You are very uncomfortable and you soon say, “To hell with this, I’m getting out of here. I will just have to be extra careful till we get on the ground in Phoenix.”

That goes back to the old timers saying: you are either a pointer or a sitter, there is no in between.

I  observed a smart young father in the terminal, he had six kids and they were flying to Spokane, Washington and he lined them up at the restroom door and each one was given 10 minutes in the restroom, if you needed it or not. To me that father had been over the ropes, but he had learned from doing.

See ya!

Those Blue Driving Lights

By: Stan Jordan

I hear that those blue headlights on our automobiles might soon be outlawed. That can’t come soon enough for me. I’ve heard that they have already passed a bill over in Indiana to do away with them.

In my way of thinking, the powers that be should have never allowed the auto industry to put those blue lights on the new cars to start with. We older folks are darn near blinded by their brightness, it is down right miserable to meet them at night.

All the police people talk safety on the highway, well get rid of those blue lights or any other extra bright light. Get off the safety belt pressure and do something about those bright blue lights. Any and every law enforcement officer and politician should ask their own parents or grandparents about the discomfort when meeting a car with those type of headlights.

To me this is so obvious, so dangerous they should be outlawed at once.

See ya!