Stans’s Ramblings

My annual letter on Thanksgiving

By: Stan Jordan

As I sit here at the famous window on S.R. 49 and W. River St here in Antwerp. I can look out and see it is just another day, but is it? Let me see, what are some of the things we are thankful for?

I can see the farmer going to the elevator with those big trucks and wagons loaded with soy beans and corn. That is going on all over the tri-state area, Harlan, Woodburn, Payne, Paulding, Van Wert, Hicksville and all those farming communities. These products turn into cash money and that is how the farmers pay their bills and that is part of the circle.

It was a wet spring, the ground was covered with water a couple of times, but some of the fields produced a good crop anyhow, and we are thankful for that, even though some of the harvesting is yet to be done.

A number of areas were drenched with rain and strong winds, even tornados and hurricanes but here in the tri-state area, I have written in this column many times, we are lucky we don’t get some of those bad storms.

I love my associates of eleven years here at the West Bend News. They have managed to put up with me that long!

The boss, owner, operator, all high exalted magistrate is Bryce Steiner, top man on the totem pole. Sarah Klingler, she is the graphic designer, Aaron Ramsier takes care of making the ads. Crystal Rider is the office manager, she is handier than a pocket in a shirt, she can do anything and makes good coffee. Jarrison Steiner is the machine operator in the back room. Angel is the boss’s wife she is called in on busy days, like Monday, or when ever we need her, she is a great help.

I am the lowest man on the totem pole. There is some questions of my value to the establishment. My main job is to watch the sign across the street at the drive-thru and report whenever the gasoline price goes up, to watch for the United Parcel man and I’m the only authorized operator of the paper shredder.

That is a thumb nail sketch of the batting order here at the West Bend News.

I’ve talked to some of my old time farmers about which is worse: A wet year or a dry year? I have heard replies on both sides. I think that it is better to have a wet year. I think this year shows that, even though we had 10 inches of above normal. When we don’t get any rain in July and August the beans and corn ears don’t fill out. I will probably get some calls about this.

See ya!

Lets get serious on this dope

By: Stan Jordan

The Ohio Attorney General, Mike DeWine, said in Ohio, 14 people die every day from over dose from some kind of drug.

Years ago we lost many people each day from cigarettes and lung cancer. There became a nationwide movement to get rid of the smoking and it worked, that number has been reduced a lot.

Now I’m not looking for new laws on this matter, just enforce the laws we do have. Let’s talk jail time, not this probation crap.

Let’s talk years in prison if you are caught as a dealer. If you get caught the second time, a lot of years in prison, maybe some solitary.

If you are a user, let’s jump on him. If he caught the second time, a few years in prison. This probation does not work. If you get caught with the paraphernalia to make some kind of drug, put him away! This knuckle slapping don’t work. The police and judge have to get serious. Let it be known that you will go to jail if you use drugs and put that out there so people will know of the consequences.

The law just has to get serious. A stern movement must be made, otherwise it’ll just get worse.

If the drugs are so bad in this country, and I guess they are, I think when they get a  dealer or a guy who makes these potions available and they show he is guilty, give him a long drop on a short rope. That worked in the old west on someone who stole a horse or cattle.

In this country a guilty person can ask for a new trial or some other semi-legal shenanigans and they stay alive for years. If these drugs are so bad, lets do something about it, now!

See ya!

Stalking the Skunk Pole Cat

By: Stan Jordan

This educational jewel was found in a 1934 issue of Captain Billy’s Whiz Bang. It is about a French Canadian trying to get a skunk. The boys at the saloon had told him all about it.

Some day I hunt the dog

Sometime I hunt the rat

Today I take my ax and go

To hunt the skunk pole cat.

My friend Bill says

He is very good fur

And very good to eat

So I tell my wife, I get fur coat

And sametime get some meat

I walk one, two, three, four miles

I feel one awful smell

I thank that skunk, he’s gone and died

And the fur coat gone to hell

By and by I get up very very close

I raise my ax up high

That gal darned skunk he up and plunk

Tro something in my eye.

Sacre Bleu, I’m blind

I cannot see

I run around and round

Till I run in to a great big tree

By and by I get very very mad

I light out for de shack

I think about a million skunk

He climb upon my back

When I get home

My wife sick on me the dog

She says you no sleep in here tonight

Go out and sleep with hog

When I get to hog pen

Ge cri now what you think

The hog say you not sleep in here tonight

Because of awful stink

So I no hunt the skunk no more

To get his fur and meat

For if his breath it smell so bad

Sacre Bleu, what about his feet?

The 2017 World Series

By: Stan Jordan

By the time you read this, you have already forgotten the Series, but it was a dandy that went seven games.

Now as I understand, lots of people think the players want the series to go seven games because they can get more money.

If I got it right, the players Medical and Retirement Fund only get the proceeds for the first four games, regardless of how many games are played.

They played the first two games at L.A. then one day of travel time as they played the next three games at Houston. Then they had another day of travel time as the series went back to L.A. for game six and seven, if need be. After five games the Astros were ahead three games to two. L.A. won the sixth game and the series went seven games to see who won four games out of seven.

In the seventh and last game, Houston had a little luck and by the end of the second inning they were ahead 5 to 0 and the game ended 5 to 1 and Houston won, hot dog!

See ya!